Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
