she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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