My first STD was from a foam party
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
