I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
