Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
