Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my being single is dangerous.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
