Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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