just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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