I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
