I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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