he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
