Joe is yelling at the trees again.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
