i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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