I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
