Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize