Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your penis caused this!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
