i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
