My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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