I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
