We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
