This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My cat gives me a boner
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
