dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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