goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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