I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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