Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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