kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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