I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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