Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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