ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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