Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
