i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
