you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
