Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
