i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
