hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
