Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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