69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
