I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic