Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.