I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him