Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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