it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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