Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
