Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love accidental penises.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
