My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
