Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize