Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
two words...techno handjob
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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