Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
