We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
