I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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