But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
