It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
