I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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