not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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