so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
