Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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