I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize