he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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