Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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