You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
