yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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