Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
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if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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