STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
