She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
