Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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