I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
