i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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