Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
