my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
