one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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