You're so nebulous sometimes
wat bout pragnant strippers??
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
